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Pantless In Vail

I just don’t get it. How did a man board a ski lift in Vail with the innocent intention of skiing with his child and end up hanging from the lift for a solid fifteen minutes, upside down and pantless? No, not panting, I said pantless. Pant-free. Sans pantalons. As in, fully exposed. Frostbite in unusual places.

There’s a long (boring) explanation offered here as to how this could have happened (along with photos much too graphic even for this racy blog) but it’s confusing and unconvincing. The truth, I suspect, is that something that could not happen simply did happen to poor Peter Pants-off. It’d be like having a meteor fall on your head, but much less likely. In fact, if it’s any consolation to poor Robert Redbottom, this event is historically unique.

Now I have a whole new reason to avoid downhill skiing, aside from the daunting prospect of finding a ski outfit that doesn’t make me look like a horse’s ass, and the weepy panic attacks on the bunny slopes. As long as there’s a possibility, no matter how remote, that I could end up dangling pantless from a lift, my skis will remain in the closet.


7 Responses
  1. jimbo says:

    I saw that story (and picture) and wondered the same things. In my skiing days I thought I’d seen just about every way to fall off of a lift – from rope tow incidents to T-bar pileups to chairlift falls, drags and tumbles. But never a half-naked guy hanging upside down for 15 minutes. And how did the kid on the chair not fall through? A fall from 15 feet would prolly be less traumatic in the long run than having to look at your dad’s junk for a quarter hour. At least in the cold, the shrinkage would uh, minimize, the embarassment, as “Seinfeld” so brilliantly covered. Or uncovered, as it were. And who doesn’t wear long-johns under their ski pants? So many questions…

    I’m digging the ski tracks photo!

  2. arrose says:

    well they did fire the photog so perhaps you are safe

  3. blah says:

    “this racy blog” <—- hahaha! Jessica = funny!

  4. tiftif says:

    [i]Sans pantalons[/i] wow. Can this French expression be used in English or it’s just a help for the French minority of your blog (In other words me :P).

    Kisses from France.


  5. Robert Redbotoom — frostbite in unusual places, too much! Lol!

  6. Donald says:

    Don’t let this incident scare you away from the ski slopes, Jessica. I think the odds of something like this happening to you are safely at least a million to one.

    And besides, you’ve managed to look absolutely beautiful while being chased by evil witches in SUSPIRIA. So I’m sure you’d still look beautiful even hanging upside down from a ski lift.

  7. hi,really fantastic pants,do you know where i can find that.thanks,bill

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