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Driving While Canine

So I heard this morning that a dog, driving his owner’s van, crashed into a coffee shop.

The owner had left the pet alone in the vehicle, in a parking lot, with the engine running, so the pooch took charge.

I totally get this. I mean, it was early in the morning, the dog probably left the house without coffee and needed a caffeine fix. I’ve been in that situation many times myself after a carpool, although luckily I’ve thus far avoided crashing into Starbuck’s in a state of sleepy desperation.

If my dog Oliver were to take off in my car while my back was turned, I know where he’d go and it wouldn’t be Starbuck’s. (Caffeine is not his drug of choice; he’s already too hyper.)  My guess is he’d head straight for MacDonald’s, grab a drive-thru double Big Mac, and be home with his chops thoroughly licked before I noticed his absence.

This may in fact have already happened. How would I know? I’ve seen no telltale wrappers in the car, but then he’d have eaten those, too.

I’m going to keep a closer eye on my dog from now on. I don’t even want to know what the penalty is for DWC.

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