Carly Fiorina’s Bad Hair Day
Carly Fiorina is having a bad hair day. Not because her hair looks bad, but because nobody likes her catty remarks about Barbara Boxer’s coif. GOP senate candidate Carly, n capaign mode, didn’t realize her mike was on when she spoke about her passion for hamburgers, then switched topics to focus on her Democratic opponent. “God, what is that hair? Sooooooo yesterday.”
She sounded exactly like Kathy, a bitch I knew in high school who made a habit of dissing people’s hair (and shoes and body odor and athletic ability). I was the subject of Kathy’s ridicule in tenth grade when my own bleach-streaked locks turned red and broke off.
Inspired by Carly’s remarks, I am making hamburgers tonight (sliders, to be exact). But in spite of her fondness for burgers, I am not inviting Ms. F. to dinner because she’d have a field day with my hair. While not as stunningly bad as it was in bleachy high school days (it’s more bedhead than redhead, but closer to deadhead), today it is limp, useless. If it were “sooooooo yesterday,” that would be an improvement.
So I will be avoiding Ms. Bitchorina today, and anyone else with an open mike. I’ll invite some girlfriends over to share my sliders. I may be having a bad hair day, but I’m safe with my friends. They know that dissing hair is just sooooooo tenth grade.
