Glow-In-The-Dark Gefilte Fish
I am sometimes accused of unnecessary gefilte fish-bashing. This is because, although I have never actually eaten the stuff, I just find it, you know, gross, to the point of being comical, so I write about it in scathing terms occasionally.
I know I should make an effort to choose more challenging subjects: it’s so easy to pick on gefilte fish. But then I heard this story in the news about a certain young woman in England who had an unusual encounter with the fish, and I just can’t help myself.
It seems Jessica Taylor went to the fridge for a midnight snack, her heart set on scarfing down a little gefilte fish. (Okay, time out. I can think of lots of things I’d like to eat at midnight, most of them in the chocolate family. Why gefilte fish at that hour, a food that has been known to cause nightmares? I know you’re with me on this.) Anyway, Jessica Taylor opened the fridge and found that her midnight snack was glowing in the dark. Witnesses (the mom and dad) were summoned and they confirmed: the gefilte fish was “brighter than a glow stick.”
A spokesperson for the Moshe company, who distributes the fish, said that maybe it had consumed some phosphorus before it got gefilted, but that in any case the family should have brought it in for testing if they wanted a refund or an apology. Then the Moshe man offered his personal theory on the glow-fish: “It was an act of God.”
Now, I would never presume to know what’s on God’s agenda, but it’s my guess that, with all the other crap She’s dealing with right now, setting fish aglow is probably low on Her list of priorities.
Until Moshe’s company finds a better explanation for this phenomenon, I’ve got myself one new, compelling reason to avoid eating (and to ridicule) gefilte fish.