My Blah Blah Blog

The new iPhone4S, with its voice control software (called Siri) is about to become my (and millions of other people’s) best friend.

People who are getting to know Siri tell me that her female, slightly robotic voice responds to your every command. She’s like an assistant you don’t have to pay minimum wage. When I get around to buying this phone, I think it’s gonna be a game changer.

For starters, if somebody sends you a text, you can ask Siri to read it to you. Then you dictate a response and Siri will send it back. No more standing around for an hour trying to get your oafish thumbs to deliver a coherent message.

You want to know what the weather’s like today? Ask your phone goddess. Siri will tell you, and no snarky reply like, “Really? Too much of a lazy ass to step outside and see for yourself?”

I’m told you can also ask her for directions (although if you are male you are unlikely to use this feature) and she can tell you where the nearest Starbuck’s is and whether or not it’s your sister’s birthday and what hotel you should stay at in San Francisco and all kinds of stuff.As long as she doesn’t get too familiar—I don’t’ need her opinion on, say, whether I look fat in these pants—I know I’m going to love her.

What I’m really hoping, when I get my hands on the iPhone4S, is that, in addition to all her other tricks, she is capable of being a sous chef. I volunteered to make an apple crumble for my book group–I know, what was i thinking?–and and I’d love it if she’d peel those damn apples.

I’m guessing I might have to wait till the next generation of iPhone for a Siri who can perform that and other services. Who knows what she’ll be doing for us when the iPhone5 rolls out of the factory? Massage? Pshycotherapy? Grocery shopping? I can’t wait.

I wonder if she’ll be able to provide me with Ryan Gosling’s cell phone number.