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Lady’s Brunch Burgers

So I guess it’s time for the annual Mona Lisa bashing. Last year, they discovered and dragged out the nude portrait of her (you could just hear her spinning in her grave) and now they’re outing her as a woman with high cholesterol.

According to the N.Y. Times, some guy named Vito from Palermo, a self-declared expert in determining the health issues of the subjects of certain masterpiece portraits (where do you go to school to get good at that?), announced that old Mona has fatty deposits under her eyes, indicating that her famous gaze, which has of course been the subject of debate and poetry for centuries, is most likely a look of satisfaction (or maybe even belch suppression) after a few too many high fat meals.

If you are like me, you probably don’t have a whole lot of master painters rushing in with portrait offers. Are you wondering what it might take to get them interested, how you might aquire Mona’s painter-friendly, mysterious, what-the-hell-is-she-thinking attitude? Apparently, all you need to do is chow down a few of Paula Deen’s Lady’s Brunch Burgers and they’ll be banging on your door with their paintbrushes.

A Brunch Burger is guaranteed to skyrocket your cholesterol to unprecedented levels, so you too can be intriguing as Mona Lisa, pretty much overnight. Get this: it’s basically a burger with a fried egg and bacon on top. But the beauty part is, in place of a bun, that burger is tucked between two glazed Krispy Kreme donuts! I know, dreamy, right?

So, run, don’t walk, to click here for the recipe for Lady’s Brunch Burgers. Then text old Leo da V. a dinner invite.


One Response
  1. suzanne says:

    Vito’s a hack. From personal experience, I’d recognize that crossed hands over the bulging tummy trick a mile away. Guess all those flowing robes were no longer doing the trick. (Little known factoid: LdV wanted to paint a head-to-toe portrait, but Mona, feeling a little bloated, insisted “waist up only Leo!”)

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