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Women’s Top Five Wishes

I’m feeling really out of step with the world. I read in Real Simple magazine (the January issue–the dentist was running late) the results of a survey of 2600 people. I was interested to read the top five wishes of women: 1. A spouse who makes more money.  2. Plastic surgery.  3. Telling her boss exactly how she feels.  4. More kids  5. Separate bathrooms.

As for number 1, swapping the current spouse for a richer one, I so do not want this. Finding a new spouse would be way too time-consuming and would involve going on dates to places like Hooters and besides, I like my spouse, although I hate the word ‘spouse’ which makes him sound rodent-like.

As for 2, I once saw a terrifying documentary of a facelift that totally put me off —way too much gore—plus it’s barbaric and anti-feminist and also I’d be afraid I’d end up looking like the pilot of a plane that’s going way too fast.

3 is irrelevant because I am my own boss and I tell myself exactly how I feel 24/7 which is sort of irritating but most likely I will not fire myself as jobs are hard to get these days.

And 4? Nope. Had ’em, love ’em, done.

5 is another story; on this one I’m finally in synch with the masses of women surveyed. I believe that it’s in the best interest of romantic partners to avoid seeing each other doing things involving floss, shower caps, bandages, ointment, razors and…all that other stuff. The bathroom should be like Vegas: what happens in there, stays in there, out of a spouse’s line of vision. The best way to achieve that is with a His/Hers setup.

But I’d give up the separate bathrooms in a heartbeat if someone would grant me my fondest wish, one that I’m surprised is not number 1 on  this list: I wish my spouse (there’s that word again) could cook.


7 Responses
  1. Michael C. says:

    What an interesting list. I would have thought the readers of Real Simple would have been less… shallow? I mean really, more money? Plastic surgery? Those are the to two? How crass?

    Not terribly surprised by the more kids… we live in such a child-centric universe… and the separate bathrooms? Now that makes sense.

  2. Michael Iannarino says:

    I think women want men to be handy around the house; I know, my wife tells me…hand tools laugh at me when I try to use them. I do rule the kitchen being the swarthy son of Italian immigrants.

  3. Dash says:

    Fascinating! I will have to pass this onto my certainly non-rodent like spouse. My response otherwise:
    1. This is a tad shallow of these nice Real Simple people.
    2. You are stunning as is.
    3. Wouldn’t we all. The trick is to get let go, then launch an awful, hate filled and scurrilous smear campaign. That’d make one feel better!
    4. I hear you. I love my three girls, but…well actually, that sort of leads to number five…
    5. See above.

  4. Sharon Terry says:


    I almost agree with you completly – but I 1000% agree with you on the cooking bit. I need a wife!

    However, he is starting to cook – so you might find that when the nest is empty – the cooking may begin!

  5. Michael Rich says:

    I’m gonna hafta agree with the other Michael above. Pretty shallow pickins from those greedy,less than perfect looking, frustrated at work, non-octomaoms who at least have the decency to want to give us a break when they go to the bathroom.
    BTW Loved the potato video and guess what….;many men do cook ( of course we are the ones all the women are complaining about because we are not at work as much making all that moola.

  6. Bart says:

    I cook and do the marketing, but no one seems to care.

  7. Crystal Huff says:

    It is possible that the women surveyed were trying to think of very out-of-reach, magic-lamp type wishes. After all, one could argue that truly valuable things, such as happiness and health, can be obtained on one’s own and shouldn’t be wasted as a “wish”. Even so, I personally wouldn’t wish for these things (except maybe the last one as well, which would probably just be encompassed in a wish like “bigger, nicer apartment for the same price”. Ha! Anyway, nice blog. Big fan!

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