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Why You Should Buy Saddam Hussein’s Yacht

Word on the street is that Saddam Hussein’s yacht is for sale. The Ocean Breeze, after a heated ownership dispute, is now the property of Iraq. Iraq is selling it, not because they can’t all fit on deck, but because they’d rather have $35,000,000 than a boat.

I heard this on the news, right after the report about how bad things are for our automobile industry because nobody buys big-ticket items in a recession. I’m thinking maybe Iraq should rethink their timing.

The Ocean Breeze has a few strong selling points, however. One is that the boat is in pristine condition. Apparently, old S.H. never used it, because he was afraid that the minute he left shore, all hell would break loose in his politically combustible country.  So the yacht’s only exercise has been bobbing in tepid water for several years.

Another nice feature of the yacht is that apparently it’s equipped with gold faucets. Aside from its obvious usefulness for high-end hygiene, a gold faucet is an excellent conversation starter. When you get to that point at an on-board cocktail party where you have exhausted the subject of Barack Obama’s puppy options, you could have a lively discussion about the fixtures.

The boat has a lot of family appeal, too. Aside from its multiple swimming pools, it has a a secret passageway, and, best of all, a rocket-launcher to keep kids amused on long outings.

There’s also a mini-submarine, which is a useful escape vehicle if annoying relatives show up and demand a cruise.

So you might want to weigh all these factors and consider taking a look at The Ocean Breeze, if only because,  in the (very likely) event that your house goes into foreclosure in the next six months, it’d be nice to have a yacht on hand to sleep in.


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