My Blah Blah Blog

I Am Wolverine

Maybe it’s because my husband works for the company that’s releasing the movie, or because I’m given to flights of cuckoo fantasy when performing tedious culinary tasks. Or maybe I’m just, you know, losing it. You be the judge.

But when the Salad Hands I ordered from Sur La Table arrived last week, I became Wolverine. (If you have never seen an X-Men movie, you will not know who this is. Shame on you. Google him.)

These Salad Hands look awful cute online; white plastic with handles that come in a variety of cheerful colors. But when they arrive and you hold them, you can’t help but feel like that iconic mutant superhero, whose distinguishing feature, on display now in posters everywhere, is the scary, metallic version of my adorable kitchen tool.

If only I could, along with the Hands, aquire some of Wolverine’s special skills. 1) When wounded, he heals instantly. This would have come in handy the other day when, with my usual kitchen impatience. I sliced my finger instead of the carrot. 2) He never ages. Rushing around for centuries, growling and stabbing people and he still looks like, well, Hugh Jackman.

It’s not such a bad way, by the way, to get through the dinner hour. Grab those Salad Hands and flip your imagination switch: tossing a salad becomes much more interesting. I just have to try not to growl at people, which is a stretch for me even when I’m empty-handed.

(Click here for the recipe for Wolverine Salad.)


7 Responses
  1. Scot says:

    1) Salad Hands — awesome
    2) Hugh Jackman — duh, awesome
    3) I often prowl the Boston Public Library where I work with multiple ballpoint pens between my digits, pretending I’m Wolverine. Or just Hugh Jackman, in which case, I sing “Oh What a Beautiful Morning” at the same time.

  2. little sistah says:

    wanna borrow my cape?

  3. Dave says:

    I decided to tie some screwdrivers to my hands and run about the house pretending to be Wolverine. This was all well and good until my wife expressed duress as to what I was doing to the furniture (the cats seemed to enjoy it, though). I realized it all had to stop when someone attempted to illegally “upload” me.

  4. Lloyd says:

    Poor Jessica, I hope your finger heals. I will check out the salad recipe. I love your blogs, thanks for writing them. Hey by the way I was at The Grove today out here in LaLa Land, and we went to Barnes and Noble and I saw that Phantom of the Paradise DVD is on sell there, I love that song Old Souls.

  5. Jessica Harper says:

    to clarify, re: the comment by Little Sistah: Wolverine does not wear a cape. He’s usually naked from the waist up, a condition you will not be seeing me in when I toss a salad.

  6. Joe says:

    Have you ever tried the garden hand tool, it’s sure to make you feel like a mutant. Vegetables drive me crazy, since I can’t eat them whole I cut them down to pieces.

  7. Submarine Mark says:

    Sounds like a good addition to this October’s Halloween costume party. I wonder how many “Wolverines” will be out there slicing up the night?

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