My Blah Blah Blog

I was interested to read the news story last week on the findings of two scientists from the University of Oxford. After three years of study (at a cost to taxpayers of about 300,000 pounds), they announced that ducks like water.

Provided with a pond, a water trough, and a shower, the study group of ducks gravitated toward the shower, apparently “spending a lot of time under the shower, just standing there.” (My husband does this, too, much to the irritation of his family and the DWP, but unobserved by scientists.)

If somebody at Oxford had read my blog a few weeks back about the ducks at Fox studios, like you guys did, they could have saved themselves a lot of trouble; one quick visit with Fox’s lucky ducks would have led to the same conclusion.

The news from Oxford inspired me to appeal to them for funds to continue a study I’ve been conducting at my home, which is similar to their ducky one but focuses on another species: the dog.

For two years I have observed my golden retriever Oliver’s relationship to water. He has been provided with a swimming pool, a bathtub, and a hose and has shown an aversion to all three. If Oxford approves funding, I thought I might expand the study by trying the Dog-O-Matic. I just read about this doggy washing machine; you throw your pooch in and he emerges clean after a brisk cycle.

My guess is, however, that a spin in the Dog-O-Matic would leave Oliver with a solid case of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. Check it out here and see what you think.