Wall Of Gum
I’ve just learned that chewing gum is against the law in Singapore. No wonder my friends who lived there moved back to Des Moines.
Apparently the law was enacted in 1992 due to ‘incorrect disposal’ of dead gum: citizens stuck it under restaurant tabletops one too many times.
We need no such law in America; we are much more self-disciplined with regard to gum disposal. We have the Wall of Gum.
The city of Seattle is the proud host of the massive Wall, which has ample space for all Americans to deposit their expired Double Bubble in a correct, responsible way.
Understandably, the wall has been pronounced the second most germy tourist attraction in the world (second only to the Blarney Stone) but we go anyway, determined to protect our restaurant tables from that knee-sticking blight that led to Singapore’s Draconian crackdown.
As everyone knows, chewing gum develops muscular jaws and it helps you concentrate. (You’re supposed to chew while taking theÂ SATs.) If the Singaporians are tired of having weak jaws and not getting into Harvard, they should forward these pictures of the Wall to the people who make gum laws. This senseless deprivation should end; Singapore should build one of these babies and let their citizens get back to gum.