Plantation Or Bust
I always like to go to new places, like, say Plantation, Florida, which I’m visiting on my upcoming book tour. But I’m a little worried by the ambiguity of the city’s motto: “The grass is greener.” Do they mean there is no place so verdant as Plantation? Or are they warning me not to unpack, to drive on by, because any place is better than their stinkhole town?
But every city has a soul, and at least a little something to charm visitors. I’m sure Plantation is no exception. It served as a backdrop for a couple of Hollywood movies, after all—”Something About Mary” and “Caddyshack.” I intend to find something to write home about there, and in all the tour stops in Florida and Texas, plus Chicago, Minneapolis, San Francisco, Boston and Seattle.
In Seattle it’s a no-brainer. I’m heading straight for the famous Wall of Gum. Minneapolis has a mall the size of Tunisia, which might be fun, and Chicago has two feet of snow and the blues. Dallas has, uh, well, all those Bush vibes that make you shiver, plus chicken-fried steak. And New York has…well, everything. I’ll be kicking off the tour on The Today Show there on Friday… If you want to follow my tracks, check out my new “appearances” page at www.thecrabbycook.com….